Mystery Date: Monday

Sorry it's so late but we got caught up in things and just remembered to do it now.

Anyway, hope you like who we have today.

-&-

Mystery Date #1


This date will involve:
- a hot tub
- questionable underwear choices
- cheap pink champagne
- money on the dresser, for who you can decide


Mystery Date #2


This date will involve:
- teaching the proper use of hair products
- doing his hair and showing him how it's done
- cute, awkward conversation
- a sweet good night kiss



So which date do you pick?

Mystery Date #1

or

Mystery Date #2


Let us know who you got!

Awards Monday: Week Eighteen

Hottie of the Week


Sam Gagner


Yeah, we did it. We picked him. Who wouldn't? We would have to be crazy not to pick the little man for the Hottie this week.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night


Mr. Lube


Hahahaha, yes.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award


NHL scouts


It's gonna be a crazy and tough month for these underpaid and underapprecitated gentlemen all culminating with the trade deadline at the end of the month. They definitely better be eating their Wheaties this month.

Mystery Date: Sunday

Hello ladies, here starts the week of Mystery Dates.

Today's dates features two centers who are not only talented but also lusted after by many, many girls on the East Coast and might have been suggested to us through comments and email.

We hope you enjoy the dates. If not, you know how to reach us.

Okay, onto the dates.

-&-

Mystery Date #1


This mystery man invites you out to a sophisticated bar where you get fancy drinks and the two of you chat companionably. You think his feeble grasp on the English language is adorable. And he thinks your laugh is cute. After one too many drinks, the two of you end up at a dance club and things get funky. He's a great dancer (but you're kind of intoxicated) and the two of you dance the night away.


Mystery Date #2


This mystery date believes that he's a romantic at heart and you just think he's adorable for trying. He invites you to his house for dinner which you're not so sure about. But you bring a bottle of wine anyway and are surprised when he has a really good meal prepared for you. Dinner goes great and the conversation is flowing. You have fun, even after spotting the Boston Market containers in the trash.


Now, who do you pick?

Mystery Date #1

or

Mystery Date #2


Let us know!

An Apology Of Sorts

So, we want to apologize to our loyal readers for slacking on the Mystery Date Night Fridays.

We're so sorry.

Sorrrrrrrrry!

If you can believe it, we completely forgot it was a Friday. And last Friday we were too concerned with the All Star Game to care.

Well, how about this for an apology: a WEEK of just Mystery Dates? In honor of Valentine's Day. And because we're sorry, of course.

Yes, it might include bubble baths and Wayne Gretzky.

But we won't promise anything.

This will all culminate with a special Valentine's Day feature that MouthGuard and Noodles are cooking up. It will be awesome, gruesome and funny. Like always.

Just because you might be single or married or whatever doesn't mean you can't enjoy a pretend date with a hockey player.

If you have an suggestions of who to date or what to do, send them our way. We're accepting anyone and anything this week!


And here is a video to make this a semi-legitimate post.

Sam Gagner & Yeah, Other Stuff Happened

The game between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Edmonton Oilers was definitely one for the ages.

The score was 8-4 and Sam Gagner had four goals and four assists.

Yes, that's eight freaking points. It was a magical night and one that we were happy we got to witness on our TVs.

He tied Gretzky and Coffey with eight points in one game as well.

It was also pretty neat to see how many people were also excited about seeing history.

Two things we saw on Twitter was James Duthie pointing out that Taylor Hall had a career-best four point night and it was overshadowed by Gagner's amazing night.


And Gretzky and Coffey texting Gagner after his night. We're sure he was almost as stoked to see those texts as getting the points.


Of course we saw this picture and had to post it here.

(source: themishaps)


And then we took a screencap of the front page on the Oilers website.

Because it's pretty funny and a Killers song.



Other things:

- Minnesota Wild traded Casey Wellman to the New York Rangers for Erik Christensen and a conditional seventh-round pick in 2013.


- Jimmy Howard will be out of the Red Wings lineup after breaking his finger.


- Patrik Elias was fined $2,500 for boarding Mike Blunden in last night's game between the Canadiens and the Devils.


- The Capitals traded Danny Richmond to the Avalanche for Mike Carman.


- Also, LOL Dan Boyle

News To Ponder Today

In last night's game between the LA Kings and the Columbus Blue Jackets, Drew Doughty scored with exactly one second left.

Apparently the time-keeping clock stuck for a second and that's what led to his goal. Or something like that. It's all full of land mines and pointing fingers and unhappy fans.

Here is Gary Bettman's statement on it.


Eric Boulton and Jared Boll were both fined $2,500 for separate incidents.


The Penguins picked up Cal O'Reilly on waivers. Cool.


Interesting NHL on TSN Quiz featuring the question: Who is the best defenseman?


At the Top Prospects game, Team Orr won by a goal with less than 30 seconds left in the game and there were two fights in the game. Nothing like fighting for your draft spot, boys.


Flyers traded Kevin Marshall to the Capitals for Matt Ford.


Jeff Carter is ready to rejoin the Blue Jackets. Just in time for trading season.


Remember the Dustin Byfuglien 'boating while intoxicated' incident from the summer. Yeah, he's probably going to trial for it.


Gordie Howe is doing a series of fundraisers to raise awareness of dementia.


Wanna see some nice flow? Justin faulk from the Hurricanes talks to THN and it's some nice hair.
(Thanks to Shanny for the video)


Macke found this video and it's pretty funny but we only stayed because Cabbie is awesome and we are just huge fans of Taylor Hall's cardigan and t-shirt combo. Boy dresses nice.


Super Bowl 46 prediction from @hallsy04. Our dude @ebs_14 with the camera work! #sb46

Feb 2, 2012 | Source: Keek.com

Top Ten: Sh*t the Hockey Junkies Say...

So, this idea has been going around the interwebs like herpes in a Lifetime movie and we decided to jump on the bandwagon. We've never been very good at saying no to peer pressure.

We're also not very good at making videos and we look like trolls so we're going to do this in text and not a video. Also, it's a lot easier and we're fond of being lazy.

Remember, these are supposed to be funny. Yes, we have our fangirl moments. We can't help it. Boys can do it over VS models and Miss USA, we just choose hockey players because the sport is the best in the world and some of the boys who play it are attractive. It's a curse.

Without further ado, here are our


Top Ten: Sh*t the Hockey Junkies say...

10. "Out of all of my hockey husbands which one would I be most compatible with?

Personality-wise of course. Next question: Who would I make prettier babies with?"


09. "Why is he looking at him like that? Oh my god, stop it.

Why do you love him so muuuuuuuuuch? Stop it! That's it, we quit. End our lives now, le sigh."


08. "F**k me, that move. Boom. Pregnant."



07.

"He's mine, my precious."

*Pierre McGuire starts to drool over him in telecasts*


"HE'S MINE, MY PRECIOUS. MINE!!! Get your filthy hands off of him!"


06. *picture of Kris Letang/Kris Versteeg/Steven Stamkos/player with bad flow*

CUT YOUR DAMN HAIR, BOY!


SEE! Isn't that better? You look less like a bag lady and more like a gentleman.


05. "I accidentally on purpose went through the Jordan Eberle tag on Tumblr in a moment of weakness.

And three hours later..."


04. "Did you see Kane in the shootout last night? Diiiiirty."



03. "Don't you DARE hit him!

Who do you think you are? I will hunt you down, punk."


02. "The fanfic about him is going to be atrocious....

But I can't wait for the terribleness to happen."


01. *in perfect Patrick Bateman voice*

"NOT THE FACE!!!"


Do you guys say stuff like this too? Or are we just batshit insane? Because we've always assumed that.

If you guys think of any others, let us know. We will probably be doing a part two soon.