San Jose Sharks
Man, the Sharks. Where do we even begin? Seriously? It's almost too easy to make fun of them though we know that MouthGuard would want us to.
We will try to steer clear of the most obvious jokes. Try our hardest, of course.
The season ended poorly for the Sharks, getting run over by the Canucks in a brutal series. Big players didn't show up again and not to make excuses but injuries were a huge part of it.
But it can't be counted as a failure since they did make it to the Conference Finals. The Canucks were hot, what did you expect?
The off season for the Sharks has been a little more interesting and intriguing. Gone is Dany Heatley and his uncontrollable stick. Gone is Devin Setoguchi and his bromance with Logan Couture.
In with the new. The Sharks defense corps has been almost completely overhauled. Brent Burns had brought his smiling face to the Bay Area to clean up in the d-zone. And Jim Vandermeer is here to fuck shit up.
Hopefully for the Sharks and their fans, this is the team to do some damage in the playoffs.
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General Manager - still good ol' Doug Wilson
Coach - Todd McLellan, anyone else think he's aging really fast nowadays?
Team Captain - Mr. Joe Thornton
Player(s) everyone should love - Brent Burns
It ain't cheating if we've liked him FOREVER. Who doesn't like a guy that has missing teeth and love reptiles?
Player we don’t love - Doug Murray
We just got shivers...in a bad way.
Who they got - Brent Burns, Martin Havlat, Jim Vandermeer, Andrew Murray, Colin White & Michal Handzus
Who they lost - Scott Nichol, Kent Huskins, Ian White, Jamal Mayers, Ben eager, Devin Setoguchi & Dany Heatley
Located at - HP Pavilion
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Hotness level - 5
We feel that a five is as accurate as we can get with this. It does help that Dany Heatley and his perm are gone but Brent Burns can only do so much with the team that he's given. We gave an extra point for the cute that is Jamie McGinn.
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